Did you know that Saint Anthony of Padova was from Lisbon? That Saint Barbara is used as a nickname for explosives because her father was struck dead by lightning right after decapitating his daughter? Do you know who to ask for help if you get frostbite? Who is the patron Saint of Deli’s? Do you know why? Do you know that asking why means you will fall out of God’s grace?
Auctioning the Saint is not just a game. You can’t even say that it is a theatrical performance. We are certainly going to be using a deck of cards. There’ll be one man alone, in front of a crowd. A man that is going to turn everyday of the year into Christmas.
He has chosen 52 out of 4.000 Saints. He’s going to narrate their lives, feats, and miracles. It’s going to be a sort of board game, or a honky tonk.

Every Saint has his own tale of extraordinary adventures, supernatural ups and downs, inconceivable deaths, and superpowers. These will all be painted on a card. Each story will be told in order to sell the saint to the highest bidder. The game consists of strongly believing in one of these saints, and as such, buying and betting on them. The idea is to reach the final round in order to win one of three prizes at stake. The contestants will be lucky enough to see the difficult path to sanctification right in front of their eyes. This path requires the performance of live miracles and the distribution of earthly goods. This distribution will be both unfair and random, without any standards whatsoever. The contestants will be able to win 100 €, or maybe 1.000. With this money (how much they have depends on pure luck) they will be able to buy their saints. Only three will win. The rest will be left with a feeling of searing disappointment, but at least they will know who to turn to for help with their searing disappointment.

To become a saint you need great determination. You also need to perform at least two miracles. Now, I’ll proceed with the second, and if we have time, I’ll tell you about the first.
Spavaldo Zacchini

www.gliomini.it